Moreover, the common way of dealing with those problems is through struggle and conflict. In other words, peace is the last thing on our minds.
If we’re to create peace in our lives (or world), perhaps we should focus more on what we can do about the challenges at hand.
Every situation is unique, as are the individuals within it and the issues they face in their lives. Therefore no one-size-fits-all solution should be expected to give us a way out every time.
Nevertheless, there are some things we can try that will give us a good start.
Unless you have already developed the skills, experience or intuition on which to draw to plot a reliable course through the mess, I suggest you engage in a process that is best described as “reverse engineering.” In this context, we’ll use it to analyze the situation to figure out what got you where you are today.
So if something’s troubling you, grab a pen and pad of paper and go somewhere where you can sit quietly for a while.
Now, think back to how it all began. When did it start? What led up to it? How did the situation develop?
What were the choices that you made (or didn’t)? How did you make them? What went into each one? What sort of thought processes did you go through? What about the emotions that were triggered along the way?
What was it you (or they) wanted or tried to accomplish? Where did it go as intended? Where did it go off track? What happened as a result? Were there any unintended consequences?
Think back to the communications between all involved. What did each one say or do? What was left unsaid? What were the hidden messages that perhaps you might have missed?
Don’t take it on first glance. Really it give it some thought. Then give it some more. Consider what might have been the impact had you done some part of it differently, or the course it could have led you down?
Then break each of those elements into its component factors. Address each in turn.
Those factors are not just the obvious triggers that you discovered in your reverse engineering analysis. Rather, they include the unseen forces at work within you and the others involved in the situation.
What were your thoughts? Emotions? Motivations? Intentions?
What desires were involved? Fears? How did what happened affect them, or vice versa?
Most importantly, what are you experiencing as a result of the problem? How does it impact your life? Your belief in yourself? Your desired outcome or destination?
These are but a few of the issues your might consider when trying to work through a problem. There are a whole lot more that need to be considered, especially when trying to chart a course to a better future.
However, the purpose for now is not to solve the problem. It’s simply to understand what caused it and how it might have evolved differently had other choices been made or actions taken.
Through this process, you will ready yourself to create a future that will better take you where you want to go. And as you do, you just might discover another benefit as well.
Solution paths might magically begin to appear. Opportunities can arise. But don’t grasp at straws. Consider wisely, for things are not always as they seem. For while some choices may be a way out, others may end up leading you deeper into it.
Some may appear to be just what you’re looking for, but lead you deeper into your struggle. Others may look nothing like the kind you think you want, yet end up taking you on a journey to a future of unimagined result.
The real question is, how can you know? How will you evaluate the choices at hand, if you can even see the possibilities they offer or the potential hurdles you might face along the way?
Ah, this is the wonder of life, isn’t it? That we get the chance to jump from the frying pan into the fire, or into a tasty dessert just waiting for us to feast upon it.
As always, it’s up to you. How will you choose? And will you even recognize it when it appears?