Well, last year's done and gone, and it's time to leave the dramas of last year behind.

You'll remember I took the last couple weeks off to do my normal year-end assessment. Hopefully some of you did the same.

Anyway, in mine I looked at most areas of my life, especially the relationship between my health and my desire to share the inspirations that flow into me.

Neither area was working the way I wanted.

The cough lingered. My weight was higher than it had ever been in my life. Energy levels were way down.

My diet probably had a lot to do with it. I was riding the tiger of sugar and caffeine, perhaps to replace the adrenaline rushes that had been so prevalent in my earlier years. And my intake of nutrients and vitamins had been sporadic -- I'd been lazy about getting to the store when different ones ran out. A lack of exercise didn't help, either.

As for my work, it really didn't qualify as work. It wasn't earning me much money, but it was sucking valuable time away from things that could.

Sure, I enjoyed sharing perspectives on peace in my blog and communications with many of you. But frankly, it wasn't bringing me much peace. I was caught in never-never land between going whole-hog into a give-it-all-away spiritual outreach and selling-what-you've-got commercialism

Part of me was saying to get back to work, too. It said to return to the business world I knew so well, perhaps doing more legal work or using my expertise in some other way to solve people's real world problems.

Yet another part, a far deeper one, kept whispering to stay the course -- that the reason I wasn't getting the results I want was that I was subconsciously holding myself back through my own perfectionism and self-judgment.

It seemed I was at war with myself. Or should I say, with the vision I had set for myself, namely to live up to the standards set by my wonderful teachers and guides. Funny, I knew I could stand as their equal, but occasionally I would revert to old patterns to remind me that while the world might be ready for what I bore, I wasn't quite ready to give it.

Or so I allowed myself to think.

The result was I didn't step boldly into the unknown of how to go about it. A life-long ability to see five moves ahead and work through most every option failed me, and I had created dramas to keep me from moving forward anyway. Worse, I let them rather than following my own advice to my kids -- "Find a way."

So in my reassessment I did a lot of soul searching to make sure that I was really on the right track. As always, my soul answered. I was. My intention was clear -- to offer a way through the darkness and difficulty of uncertain times, especially the escalating conflict that is turning so many lives upside down.

As it turns out, I wasn't sabotaging myself at all. Rather, I was using the time to clear out some dross I'd picked up along the way while expanding my ability to communicate what's going on and how we can better use the opportunities it offers.

The time out allowed me to get clear on where I want to go. For one, I want to create a better balance between giving and receiving to make the effort self-sustaining. It isn't necessary to sustain this illusion of conflict within me any longer. I understand that the spiritual and material worlds are both part of my whole, and it is important to give them both expression in my life.

Another involves the direction of my work, namely to address the outer conflicts infecting our world, especially those splashed all over the news. And most importantly, to illuminate the link between those events and people's lives, and how they can better use them.

But I realize I can't do an about face completely and stop being a voice for the inner voice, much less the possibilities offered by community. After all, my essay on community as an incubator for conscious co-creation is included in The Love of the 5th Spiritual Paradigm, an anthology being released on Valentine's Day. A whole lot of famous people have contributed to it, including Desmond Tutu, Maya Angelou, Aung San Sun Kyi and Andrew Cohen. It wouldn't be right to turn my back on this important work and our collective effort to spread love in our world.

Still, I realize it is time to go even farther, to connect the dots so people can take the next step. Things are getting out of hand in our world, bringing a lot of suffering as a consequence. People need to see there's a method behind the madness, and that their struggles can be used in far better ways than just to grit their teeth and bear the pain.

Even so, the how of it all isn't completely clear. That's part of the experiences I've laid out for myself, to move through the darkness despite not being able to see very far down the road. Therefore my plans for the year aren't particularly detailed or set in stone. About all I know is I'm going into it with a renewed intention to do a better job of carrying the message of peace a little farther and wider than I did last year.

It probably will involve more web chats and probably fewer radio shows. I prefer looking in people's eyes when they talk to me, so I figure some of you may like to do the same. We'll see how it goes.

I'm also looking to create more in person events, too. Some I'm tentatively calling "creation incubators" are in the works to help develop the visions of your souls. Another involves a conference Laura and I have had on the back burner for a couple years.

The break was used for a lot more than planning, though. Over the holidays I wrote an article called Preparing for a New Dawn. It's another view of the political and economic turmoil spreading across the land, and why it's so important not to get involved. You can read it at http://peaceoptions.com/new-dawn.

Moreover, all the websites are being revamped. Both PeaceOptions and JohnDennison.com have new looks. MissionLaunch.com is back up again and in process now. To boot, the site that started it all, WhisperZone.org, is going to get a major reworking next to focus on our publishing and production work. Maybe I'll even get around to doing eJustice, too.

Soooooooo, in conclusion I guess I'm not so different as I was before. Some of my dramas are still playing themselves out, allowing me to evolve in the process. Others are cropping up to be experienced and dealt with.

But no matter how I look at it, 2010 promises to be a busy year, a year of re-building, of renewed growth and determination to help you build a life of peace and the kind of world needed to live it in.

We'll see how it develops and whether I stay on track. After all, I know plans change, and when spirit calls me in another direction as it frequently does, I'll listen.

Hopefully I'll see you somewhere along the way. Happy new year. May it be filled with peace and prosperity in abundance.

By the way, the cough's much better, the weight's dropping, my diet is improving and exercise is up. I'm grateful that I still have the will and ability to effect such changes in my life.

God bless you indeed. Go with love.