I'm not sure about this whole social networking thing.

People connecting with people I understand. It's the way some are trying to use it to build their businesses that troubles me.

And frankly, that's the part that bothers me. Because the way they're using it isn't consistent with the principles and practices I've glimpsed for the New World.

Just this week I got a call from an acquaintance who started her own social network as part of a larger project. It's been open nearly a year now and I hadn't joined.

Not because I didn't want to know or be known among her members, but because I really wasn't sure how to go about it.

At the insistence of some friends, I've played with Facebook and a couple other networks. But the whole process didn't feel right.

Maybe it's me or that I'm not socially inclined, at least in the millennial sense of the word. After all, I couldn't see much sense contacting people I didn't know and asking them to be my "friend" when I knew virtually nothing about them.

Even when it was at the suggestion of a mutual acquaintance, most of those efforts felt awkward. Inevitably the new "friend" had no idea who I was, and made it painfully obvious by asking,"Who are you?"

Anyway, when Shannon asked me to join her site, I decided to give it a try. Signing up was easy. So was setting up my profile.

That's where things got weird.

Almost immediately I started getting "welcome messages" from other members or comments posted on my "wall" or "board."

But instead of talking to me about the community, what we might have in common, or even striking up a conversation on the issues described in my profile or theirs, their posts and invitations to be friends appeared more like thinly veiled marketing messages to promote their wares.

I went to explore their profiles to try to learn a little more. But instead of giving me a glimpse of them, all they showed me was their business.

Now, I don't blame them for marketing their services and products. I won't critique their efforts now, either. In fact, in these difficult times it's essential for people to know what we offer if we are to survive and prosper.

However, I must say that their tactics did little to make me feel welcome, much less want to know more about them or their businesses.

Is this what social networking's all about? Using the platform to sell our wares?

I can understand the way young people use it to open windows into their lives so their friends can know what's going on and keep in touch. That's cool, privacy issues aside.

But when we start usurping it for our own ends, all of sudden things get turned upside down.

Business in the New Economy
We live in a climate where marketing too often is done by shouting, "Hey, look at me!" Or by touting the virtues of whatever it is we're offering.

Sure, those things are important. But the process is completely one-sided, triggered not by invitation but by throwing as many darts against the board as we can to see what sticks.

But that's not the way I see the New Economy working in the New World.

The New Economy is based on ease and simplicity. And while it may be easy for some to promote themselves in that way, it isn't easy on the targeted audience.

Many turn off to any kind of marketing. It's only because of a pressing need that they open a crack to consider something new. But even then many resent the continual intrusion of unwanted messages.

And while the cumulative effect of being bombarded by advertising may make your product remembered, it does little to make people feel better about themselves or the prospects they can have a better life with your help.

Will there be such a role? Maybe. But using it in a social network community doesn't feel like a good way to win friends and influence people. After all, it tells the target you're only interested in their wallet, not their heart or mind.

I would think an informational and interactive approach would be a more effective way to promote a business, exploring common problems and possible solutions with which we might help.

Maybe it's just me waxing nostalgic, or even living in a dream world. But I see the New Economy sort of like when Kris Kringle sent Macy's customers to Gimbals to find the perfect toy in the classic Miracle on 34th Street.

When we get to know people, we can help them find the solution they need. And that solution might not have anything to do with what we offer.

And I don't mean turning ourselves into miniature versions of context advertising like Google Adwords. I mean truly trying to help, but only when they ask for it, and we feel the inspiration to give it (as opposed to trying to force it upon them).

Maybe I'm confusing my understanding of the New World with the impact of my experiences with the way things are done now. But I don't think that's the case here.

I didn't join for the chance to hear about someone's product or service. I joined to know more about the people who would want to be part of such a community.

Sure, in the course of getting to know them I'd like to know who they are and what they're passionate about. If their business is one of those things, then there's a good chance it's going to come up somewhere along the line.

But those obvious sales messages and business profiles do little to help connect with people who really want to build community -- real community and not a network of strangers who think it's a great way to make a buck.

Sure, there's a place for that. But that wasn't what this site was supposed to be about, and I wasn't prepared for it when it happened.

So maybe we should get one thing clear.

If you're one who's using social networking simply as a way to build your business, please don't contact me. And especially don't pretend to want to be my friend.

You don't care about me. You don't even care about wanting me to know about you -- the real you behind the curtain.

But if you do care, then I'd love to have the chance to know you. And maybe one day even be your friend.

Just remember that "friend" is a term that applies once a relationship is formed, not before I've even made your acquaintance.

So won't you get to know me first? Or better yet, allow me to get to know you?

I'll guarantee that if you do, I'll be a whole lot more receptive the next time you have something to say.

Maybe then we can even have a nice conversation. And from that know whether we even want to be friends, or just go on our separate ways.

I'll be looking for you on the road ahead.