I don't have a place to rest my head any more. My heart is heavy and I don't know what to do about it.

Things are heating to a boil. The extremes are growing ever-more vociferous and entrenched in their positions, unwilling to consider that theirs is only one view in the great scheme of things.

Even those I thought I used to agree with are digging in, drawing lines in the sand and refusing to acknowledge anything other than the righteousness of their own position, determined of course from their perspective while ignoring all others.

For a while now I've heard about the coming Ascension, and that it will bring the end of duality. You know what duality is -- the 3D system of reality in which we live where everything has an opposing counterpoint, an opposite with which it competes and balances it out.

Since there's no place for me in any of the views I see, I guess I'm ready for that post-dualistic world now. I'm not sure what to call it. Some say oneness, but that sounds so boring. Integration feels like a better term, allowing for our many differences to be merged into the whole of the human mosaic -- but with all our destructive rough edges worn off.

That integrated reality is said to come at a price -- that those who want to remain caught up in their dualistic battles will separate from those who won't. Since I'm not one of them, I guess it will soon be time to say goodbye.

I can't say I hardly knew ya, because for a long time I thought I was one of you. But I realized after a long time of trying that I was the round peg that just couldn't fit into that square hole. I could see the value of all perspectives, and found it hard to take sides.

That pretty much killed my ability to be a lawyer, at least in litigation where a big part of my income came from. It didn't help much making deals, either, since I found it real hard to try to win at the other guy's expense.

So, whether there's a separation coming as prophesied, or whether I just have to go somewhere where I'm not constantly asked to take sides in your games, I don't know.

All I do know is I can't continue on this way any more, torn between what I know inside and the way our world is functioning and has for so long.

God bless all those who still want to fight. While I sometimes still thrill to the combat, loving a good game or argument as much as the next guy, at the end of the day I have to set it aside. They're not wrong. Neither am I.

Besides, as any who've ever been married know, the payoff isn't being right. It's getting to kiss and make up when the shouting's done.

In the meantime, a house divided cannot stand. And if I stay in this world the way it is, I won't be able to stand either. Because that division would have to be in me, and it's not.

I'm sorry, my friends. Enjoy your fun. But if you're going to persist in holding so tightly to all those things you fight about, wrapped in your righteousness and indignation, you're going to have to go it alone.

Because I'm just going to have to call it a day.

I'm outta here.