We recently attended a public forum where tea and coffee party representatives squared off. It wasn't pretty. Both sides of the audience took turns making statements that inflamed the other. Neither spent much time on the issues, and even less listening to those they didn't agree with.

What hope do we have that Washington will listen to us when those who oppose the way they do business won't listen to each other?

Anyway, here's part of an email I later sent to a local coffee organizer:

My work involves challenging the beliefs, practices and perspectives of the status quo that keep us in struggle and conflict. At the core of those is a conflict intricately involved in our political situation today:

1. We don't want anyone telling us what to do, think or feel; and
2. To one extent or another, most of us try to impose our views and desires on others -- and some are willing to use government to do it.

Government is an imperfect solution to deal with our common needs and problems. It attracts personalities who embrace making decisions for others (essentially telling them what they can or cannot do), and often thrill to the sense of power and importance it gives them.

The process of governing is not easy. It requires a careful balancing of the many interests and demands involved, not the least of which are their own self-preservation and the advancement of the ideas (theirs and party) that got them there. These last two -- self-interest and party interest -- seem to have become so distorted that elected officials often put them above the will of their constituents (which admittedly can fluctuate wildly when public fears and desires are tweaked through manipulation by/of the media).

As our system has evolved, acting to further their political interests and policy agendas has been determined an acceptable practice (witness the S. Court's rulings allowing gerrymandering of Congressional districts to serve political ends). This, combined with their own ability to rig the system in their favor and bypass Constitutionally-mandated protections has essentially eroded traditional processes and rendered traditional checks and balances moot. For instance, using executive orders instead of legislative action, and Congress' delegation of war-making powers to the President under the War Powers Act. Both are used when Congress lacks the will, consensus, or willingness to be held accountable for a particular course of action.

These, along with the many back room deals, threats and power plays, are just some of the deep systemic practices that both parties have embraced (though fighting over their application), but which have far less support among the people. However, the different branches of government have consistently acted in concert (some might say conspired) to expand the power of the federal government through such efforts, and along the way impair the ability of dissenting voices (3rd parties) to be heard.

Superimpose upon this the current political debate, where the extremes grow stronger and more vociferous while the middle is made to silently stand by and watch them fight. Both sides castigate the other, denigrating not only opponents' policies but personally as well. Yet both are perfectly willing to ram what they want down the throat of the American people, regardless of cost or impact, without ever addressing the underlying issue of whether such imposition is right or wrong.

Is it any wonder that so many of the Tea Party are angry with their government? Not only do they not like where it's going, but they consider the way it is being operated an anathema to everything they were taught we stand for. Then, when their leaders ignore or refuse to hear and acknowledge them and the validity of their views, they are castigated for being angry and written off as a bunch of extremists.

Superimpose the Coffee Party, which came into existence specifically to oppose the Tea Party and give voice to Obama's supporters who are equally frustrated over the way things are unfolding in Washington. Its advocates profess to advance civil discourse of the issues, yet last night many directed their anger at Tea partiers and didn't seem to value their concerns or the service they do by raising such issues.

In fact, the specific example raised by both sides was when some tea party supporters shouted outside Wasserman-Shultz's celebratory town meeting -- a celebration that incidentally followed a revealing and distasteful legislative process that reinforced many of their complaints about perceived government abuses that she proudly flaunted. Yet she didn't even acknowledge their concerns, instead very publicly strutting before the cameras with her Democratic colleagues to discount and even ridicule the bill's opponents.

But it's not just the Dems who do this. Republicans do it to. Each one's shouting, and neither is listening to the other -- automatically discounting the merits because of the underlying interests on both sides.

So somehow we need to foster a way to discuss issues amongst ourselves at a grassroots level, and hope it somehow trickles up to our leaders. As it is now, we tend to get sidetracked by emotional positions propped up to garner public support.

Take last night's debate. There were few issues discussed as both sides took turns railing against the other, and only occasionally addressed the substance of the issues that brought them there. Both sides were angry that the other wouldn't validate them and give credence to what they were saying -- and were willing to argue loudly to drive home their point -- EVEN THOUGH BOTH SEE AND OPPOSE THE SAME ABUSES PLAYING OUT WITHIN OUR SYSTEM.

Ultimately, the problems in Washington will never be solved until we resolve the underlying conflict that exists within each of us -- wanting freedom for ourselves, yet still trying to make others see things our way and do what we want them to. Until we recognize that dichotomy and accept the responsibility that comes with it to somehow strike a workable balance that serves all, these battles will continue.

Worse, our leaders will keep doing what they're doing so long as they can pit us against each other, negating our ability to reverse their efforts to rig the system in their favor and implement policies which serve some more than others, all the while burdening each of us and our children with a crushing debt.

You can see where I stand. Where do you?